Kurt Elizabeth Hummel.

[LOCKER ROOM, MONDAY 2/14, EVENING]

awildevansappears:

[Even though Sam knew Kurt knew he was watching, he couldn’t tear his eyes away, and he decided he didn’t really care. He watched Kurt as he straightened himself out, long, delicate fingers running lightly through his hair and over his chest as he fixed his clothes. At the mention of mystery meat and slushies and everything that Kurt went through on a daily basis, he felt a weight settle in his stomach and he swallowed hard.]
 
I guess… I guess maybe you might need to, um, teach me some of those stain-removal techniques at some point, huh?

[He forced a smile, nervous again about everything he might be implying - about all the things he might vaguely be promising to do. He felt a little better, though, when he looked at Kurt, color still running high over his cheeks and a little uncertainty flashing behind his studied confidence as his eyes slid over toward Sam. Sam ducked his head and grabbed the back of his neck again, shifting awkwardly and smiling sheepishly at the mat under his feet.]

I mean, you know- [He laughed nervously.] I think most people are looking at you when you’re around. It’s, um, I mean, it’s kind of hard not to. Who else would you look at?

[Sam laughed as if everything he had just said was patently obvious. As Kurt drove through the quiet, darkening suburban streets, Sam tried to look out the window, look at his feet, fiddle with the radio, do anything to keep himself from staring open-mouthed at Kurt’s rosy cheeks and hastily rearranged hair, thinking about the crumpled, messy wipe in his jacket pocket, and reliving what they had just done in explicit detail.

By the time Kurt pulled up outside his house, Sam was saying multiplication tables in his head and Kurt’s question took him completely by surprise. He thought of Quinn offering to walk him to the door after a date and avoided laughing out loud by the smallest imaginable margin when he realized that although comparing Kurt to Quinn was a bad idea for a number of reasons, there was one that really stood out in particular. Then again, maybe he should stop thinking about dating at all.]

I, um. Yes, yeah, yes. [He blushed dark red.] Please. I mean, yes, I would like that.

[Sam stopped himself from putting a hand over his face and instead balled his fists in his lap and pressed them into his legs, feeling nervous as ever. He forced another smile. They unbuckled their seat belts and got out of the car, walking quietly through the orange pool of a streetlamp as they crossed over toward the Evanses’ home. They climbed the steps onto Sam’s porch and Sam tried as hard as he could not to look like he was making sure nobody was watching them from inside the house.

Taking a deep breath, he turned toward Kurt and they looked at each other for a long moment, eyes wide. Kurt’s were enormous and black in the night, and the small porch light behind him was lining the edges of his hair and the planes of his face in gold. Neither of them breathed. It could only have been a few moments but it seemed like a lifetime to Sam before he took another deep breath and reached out to slide both palms over Kurt’s jaw and curl his fingers into Kurt’s hair, closing the space between them and catching Kurt’s bottom lip gently between his own.]

[ Kurt didn’t mistake Sam’s meaning when Sam hesitantly brought up his impending need for stain-removal techniques, though the look he threw at Sam in response was almost wistful. There was a heavy tangle of feeling in his heart as he remembered Finn telling him that he was just going to ruin Sam’s life, as he remembered the flash of injury and concern in Sam’s eyes when Kurt had cut off their duet, as he remembered the ugly ring of purple in which Sam’s bright green eye had shone as he ducked his head to smile at Kurt’s thank you.

They had barely begun and already Kurt wondered if they were making a mistake, if it was his responsibility to stop Sam from making this mistake. At least Blaine didn’t go to McKinley and would never have been subject to the pressure and terror of those halls, not the way Sam might be. But then, Sam was fully capable of defending himself, Kurt thought. ]

If you’d like. [ he demurred gently, keeping his eyes on the road, though Sam’s compliment made his lips curl up in a pleased smile despite himself. ]

I do dress to impress.

[ They fell silent after that, a thoughtful and surprisingly heavy silence, though not in a bad way. Kurt couldn’t fathom what Sam was thinking and concentrated on getting them both to the other boy’s house. Much easier to concentrate on the route than on the feel of Sam’s lips against his, Sam’s fingers against the pulse in Kurt’s wrist or tenderly putting Kurt’s hair in order or swiping away tears before they could even really fall.

He didn’t expect anything when he walked Sam to his door, just a goodbye, maybe a clap on the shoulder or something. Sam wasn’t out or even close to out, after all. But once Sam stepped into Kurt’s space and brought those big hands of his up to cradle his face, Kurt knew what was coming, and he blinked up at Sam as just a moment of split-second panic hit him — but it passed just as quickly, because Sam’s hands were so gentle even as they curled in his hair, not holding him in place, just holding him.

Kurt took a tiny step forward, too, bringing his hands up to cling to the front of Sam’s shirt. He tilted his face up just a little as Sam kissed him, swaying forward on his feet into it, braced against Sam’s broad chest. Sam’s kiss was warm and sweet and soft, but it hit Kurt that this was their kiss goodnight, that he didn’t know what it would be like when they faced each other tomorrow. If this was it for tonight —

Kurt deepened the kiss, tongue sweeping a little awkwardly and a little messily into Sam’s mouth, a hard, greedy kiss, the kind that probably shouldn’t be done on the porch of Sam’s house. His fingers tightened in Sam’s shirt as they kissed until he had to break it off to breathe, but even then he kept their faces close. ]

Goodnight, Sam. [ The words come quiet and slightly breathless. ]

[LOCKER ROOM, MONDAY 2/14, EVENING]

awildevansappears:

[The guilt and gnawing worry that had started building right away in Sam’s chest flowed out as quickly as it had come when Kurt laid long fingers against his hot cheek and bent to kiss him, deep and sweet. He let himself relax, melting against Kurt, letting his hands curve around Kurt’s hips again, fingertips pressing into the skin.]

Ok.

[He said it in a small voice.]

Your clothes are just so much nicer than mine… I know how much you care about them.

[Sam’s eyes almost rolled back in his head when Kurt turned in his lap and popped open the glove compartment, aftershocks still sparking in his belly, and as his eyes ran up Kurt’s beautiful back Sam struggled mightily to resist pressing his hands into Kurt’s skin again. He was still caught in a haze of sex and Kurt, mind slow and body humming. When Kurt slid off him, pushing something cold and wet into his hand, Sam could only stare. He didn’t want to think logically, he just wanted to watch him forever. The moments ticked as he stared at Kurt sliding his hand into his pants to clean himself off, Sam’s mouth open slightly and mind still fuzzy. When his brain finally caught up, he snapped his jaw closed and turned quickly to stare at the dashboard, a deep blush running across his cheeks and embarrassment burning in his chest.]

Sorry.

[He mumbled it. Eyes shifting over to the left again like he just couldn’t resist keeping track of what Kurt was doing, he slid his hand down past the waistband of his jeans and boxers, flinching slightly as the cold wipe came into contact with his skin. He cleaned himself up as best he could, his body still hot and sensitive. He tried to keep his mind focused solely on the task at hand, because if he thought too much about being in a tiny, hot car with Kurt with his hand on his dick again, things were going to go south quickly.

Sam balled up the wipe, still awkwardly holding it in his right hand, and turned around to grab his shirt and jacket from where they had been carelessly tossed in the desperate rush to feel their skin pressed together, the memory again threatening to turn his thoughts to dangerous territory. He pulled the t-shirt back over his head, blond hair popping out of the neck hole before he pushed through, eyes immediately finding Kurt again as he ran his hand through his hair in the visor mirror and straightened his clothes.]

You look great Kurt. Don’t worry about it. I mean- [He laughed, embarrassed, and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.] You always do.

[Sam tugged on his hair as if it didn’t always look a mess and pulled on his jacket, discreetly tucking the messy wipe into his jacket pocket because he didn’t know what else to do with it and didn’t want it to touch Kurt’s nice car. His lips pressed together and curved up instinctively as Kurt smiled at him sweetly and asked for directions. Sam’s smile broke into a grin as he gave the address and some advice on the best route to take, and by the end he was smiling at Kurt, wide and white, bigger than he ever let himself because he was afraid it made him look like a freak.]

Thank you.

[He reached out and pressed his fingertips into Kurt’s wrist one more time as Kurt started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, like he just couldn’t resist not touching him anymore.]

It’ll be fine. [ Kurt said the words breezily, as though he didn’t have a moment’s worry over the state of his clothes, since Sam seemed determined to fret enough for both of them. ] Trust me, if I can clean mystery meat sauce and crushed bananas and every flavor of slushie ever made out of my coats, I’m sure I’ll have my pants back up to snuff by tomorrow. 

[ As Kurt fluffed his hair into place he could feel Sam’s gaze on him, even as the other boy got himself dressed. If his primping took on a bit of an exaggerated quality under the other boy’s eyes, well… Kurt Hummel did like to be the center of attention. It had been a complicated night, why not bask under someone’s approval? ]

Well, it takes effort, you know, can’t just pop out of bed looking like this… [ But he was smiling at the compliment anyway. Sam thought he looked great, that he always looked great. ] If I’d realized sooner that you were looking —

[ But he broke off, because he wasn’t sure how to end that sentence. The streetlamps lining the parking lot illuminated Sam’s bright smile, and his fingers danced on the steering wheel as Sam’s fingers brushed the soft skin of his inner wrist. They headed out, and Kurt followed Sam’s instructions to arrive at his home swiftly. He made a mental note of where it was as he stopped the car. ] 

Shall I walk you to your door? [ He asked the question playfully, though he added with an unwonted touch of reticence ] I mean, if that’s all right.

[LOCKER ROOM, MONDAY 2/14, EVENING]

awildevansappears:

[Sam stared into Kurt’s eyes, unable to look away, speechless and shuddering under him as Kurt’s hands danced along his shoulders, digging into his arm and running down his side. Some part of his brain thought distractedly that if every part of Kurt could be touching him at the same time, it still wouldn’t be enough. Kurt’s eyes were thin bands of endless ocean around wide, black pupils, his lids heavy as he rolled hard down against Sam relentlessly. Then suddenly Kurt was coming, losing his rhythm and jerking and shuddering against Sam, never breaking eye contact. Sam’s big hands slipped out of Kurt’s pants and hair and curled around him to hold him as he came. The knowledge that Kurt was coming for him – that he was filling Kurt’s mind as Kurt lost control – was too much for Sam, and so was the look in Kurt’s bottomless eyes, deep and black and filled with a million things Sam was too afraid to name, and he could feel his own orgasm start to break over him like wave.]  

Kurt!  

[Sam cried, gasping and ragged, as Kurt leaned his head down onto Sam’s shoulder and relaxed against him, pressing every part of his body against Sam as he came. Stars burned in the corners of his vision and Kurt moaned against his neck, deeper than he had ever heard Kurt’s voice go. It was the hottest thing Sam had ever heard in his entire life, low and hot in his ear as he came hard in his pants shaking against Kurt’s trembling, boneless body. He was embarrassed to feel tears rising hot behind his eyes and he squeezed them away, hands fluttering across Kurt’s back, touching and stroking him with a heartbreaking tenderness. His breath heaved and his lips ran down Kurt’s neck, wanting to touch every part of him, to make Kurt feel how much this meant to Sam. How perfect Kurt was to him.]  

I’m sorry, I’m sorry Kurt –  

[Sam was still breathing hard against Kurt’s neck, and he was scared for Kurt’s reaction now.]  

We made a mess, Kurt, I’m sorry. It was just so –  

[Sam’s voice choked on the words, not wanting to scare Kurt, not wanting to come off as weird or obsessed. He shook his head, trying to make his brain work again. He ran his hands down Kurt’s thighs, over his stylish, doubtlessly expensive, previously immaculate pants.] 

Next time we’ll do it somewhere we won’t mess your stuff up.  

[Suddenly, Sam realized what had just come out of his mouth, and his face flushed hot and red. Next time, he had said, as if they were boyfriends. Like he had some reason to think Kurt would want this to happen again.]  

I mean –  I didn’t mean, what I meant was just, like, if –  

[Sam’s words choked off again, strangled, and he shrank back a little against the seat. His voice dropped to a whisper.]  

I’m sorry.  

[ Sam’s hands pressed against his back, hesitantly at first, shaking as they traced gentle lines down Kurt’s spine, and it took a moment for the haze of orgasm to fall back and Kurt to even begin to be able to think, especially with Sam’s soft mouth moving sweetly against his neck, sending shivers across his skin in the aftershock of the hardest orgasm he’d ever had in his young life. After a few lazy seconds passed, Kurt raised his head, lashes fluttering as his languid daze cleared further. 

Sam’s hands were caressing his thighs, and Kurt smiled at Sam, a little dreamily, raising a hand to push those long locks off Sam’s face. ] 

Next time, huh?

[ He touched the back of his fingertips to Sam’s burning cheek, then turned his hand over to swipe gently over Sam’s cheekbone as he leaned in and deliberately kissed him once more. ] 

Both of our stuff is messed up. It’s okay. I’m not sorry, why should you be?

[ He flushed a little as he turned in Sam’s lap to pop the glove compartment open. Kurt always traveled with emergency cleaning supplies — years of professional-level bullying had left him with an expansive knowledge on how to clean almost anything out of almost any type of fabric, though admittedly, semen was a new one.

He handed Sam some wipes and climbed off the other boy back into the driver’s seat to do what he could for his own situation. He half wanted to tell Sam not to look, but that was about the stupidest impulse in the entire world considering they’d just orgasmed on each other. So instead Kurt reached into his pants and wiped himself off as though doing so were the most natural and expected thing in the world and being embarrassed about it was the last thing to have ever crossed his mind.

It wasn’t exactly the best cleaning job in the world, but the whole car still smelled like sex and Kurt felt painfully aware of how easy it would be to get hard again with Sam right there seated next to him, with his big empathetic eyes and floppy hair and sweet smile and sculpted perfect body.

His clothes were — somewhere, Kurt couldn’t remember where he’d tossed them, and he poked his head into the backseat — aha. He’d just flung them, they were in little piles hanging off the seats, and he was briefly horrified at himself before he faced forward again and lowered the sun visor so he could flip it open for the mirror, clicking the little light on. He ran a hand through his hair to get it into some semblance of order, fussed at his clothes till they were in place again. He almost didn’t look utterly ravished once he was done. ] 

Time to get you home, Sam. [ He announces it, looking over at Sam with a fond smile. ] I’ll be your chauffeur tonight. So where to? 

[LOCKER ROOM, MONDAY 2/14, EVENING]

awildevansappears:

[Sam gasped against Kurt’s mouth when Kurt’s hands slid up under his shirt and danced over his stomach and chest, shivers running down his back and his dick harder than he thought it had ever been as Kurt ground down against him.]

Kurt- please, please, please-

[He didn’t even know what he was begging for, except more, harder, closer, and he almost sobbed as Kurt pressed hard into him and dragged his lips up Sam’s neck, kissing and sucking along his jawline. Kurt grabbed Sam’s good shoulder with one hand to steady himself, the other still running over Sam’s bare skin, and by now Sam was breathing in small, moaning sobs. Kurt licked down over his collarbones and Sam ran his hands down Kurt’s sides under his shirt, tucking his fingers into the back of Kurt’s pants to curl around his ass and pull him down harder, over and over. He could feel how hard Kurt was, Kurt’s dick sliding against his lower belly with every roll. Sam could feel tight, hot pleasure pooling there, and he gasped out as he felt himself starting to fall apart.]

Kurt- should we- I mean, I’m going to- you’re just perfect, Kurt, and I’m going to come if we don’t stop-

[He half laughed and half moaned as he gave up speaking or caring, grinding up harder and biting at Kurt’s lips, wanting every inch of their bodies to be touching. He pushed one hand back up Kurt’s back to run his fingers over the back of his neck, brushing through his hairline and then grabbing down and pulling him up into a kiss, running his tongue along the inside of Kurt’s perfect bottom lip and breathing him in as the heat kept building where Kurt rocked against him.]

Oh, god, Kurt-

[Sam gasped against Kurt’s mouth, letting go of his neck and bracing his hand against the car window, the other still tucked into Kurt’s pants as he pushed himself up against Kurt as hard as he could, pleasure sparking in his belly and running up into his chest. He pulled back a little and looked up into Kurt’s eyes, his pupils wide and eyes dark with something that felt like much more than just sex. He held Kurt’s gaze as he pushed up into him again and again, knowing he would only last a matter of moments at this point.]

[ There were genre-breaking and innovative musical arrangements that weren’t as pleasing to Kurt Hummel’s ear as the sound of Sam Evans begging him for indistinct but absolutely and certainly and tremendously wanton things. It was as though every gasp empowered him, every shiver of Sam’s skin beneath his fingers, every flush that heated his skin and certainly every ragged intonation of his name, every whispered, broken plea. He felt confident, he felt wanted, he felt —

Extremely urgent, as Sam’s hand ferociously grabbed the ass Kurt encased in tight jeans because he never figured anyone was looking anyway and because he could. Apparently Sam was looking; how Sam could fit that giant paw of his inside that waistband was beyond Kurt, but Kurt was hardly going to complain. When Sam’s warning broke off into a heated moan and a low, unbelievably sexy laugh, Kurt smiled, almost laughing into their kiss just to share in the sound of his careless joy. ] 

I don’t care, just do it.

[ The words came light and breathless as Kurt kissed Sam again, and Kurt swore he felt the Nav rock as they struggled to press as close to one another as possible, but he was focused on the summer green of Sam’s eyes shining as they caught moonlight and the way Sam looked at him, as though he were some sort of treasure, some sort of dream. Sam’s hand ran up his back and into his hair to bring him close and breathe him in, and the desire in Sam’s eyes didn’t shame Kurt, it served as complement and fuel to his own. Kurt’s fingers clenched shaking in the fabric of Sam’s sleeve as his other hand gripped Sam’s chiseled side, Sam’s lush lips pleading and pliant and wet against his own. 

Kurt’s orgasm came first, with one final hard rock against Sam’s strained clothed dick that tilted the Nav like a see-saw, and it came as he stared Sam in the eyes half-lidded, his breath hitching in high fluttering gasps as the whole world turned to confetti. He rode it out, coming harder than he’d ever come on his own just from locking gazes with Sam, and then with a startlingly low moan he buried his face in Sam’s shoulder, going nearly boneless and trembling with the aftershock. ] 

[LOCKER ROOM, MONDAY 2/14, EVENING]

awildevansappears:

[Sam gasped and threw his head back against the headrest as Kurt ground his hips down into Sam’s, rolling against his erection and making him see stars as an ah! escaped his lips and he inhaled sharply. Kurt was rough with him, hands running desperately through his hair, pulling until it hurt a little, the tiny bit of pain making Sam even harder. Sam braced one hand against the window and curled the other around Kurt’s back as Kurt took another kiss, his mouth slanting hard over Sam’s, and Sam couldn’t help but think this means he wants me too like a drumbeat in his mind.]

Ok- 

[Sam rolled his hips back up to meet Kurt’s, putting his hands back on Kurt’s waist to pull him down more firmly into Sam’s lap. Sam didn’t think he had ever felt anything as amazing as this in his entire life. He panted, pulling harder at Kurt’s coat as he rocked up again, finding a rhythm against him for a moment that sent shocks of pleasure rolling up into his belly.]

I won’t be sorry- ah- I’m not sorry, Kurt- Kurt! Take it off!

[His pupils were so wide with desire as Kurt tore off his coat and sweater that his eyes were almost entirely black. As Kurt leaned down to whisper in his ear, he couldn’t stop himself from running his hands up under Kurt’s shirt, rucking up the thin blue fabric as his fingertips danced over Kurt’s beautiful skin. He breathed out hard in an almost-moan at the perfect pale smoothness under his hands and ran them around Kurt’s sides to steady him and roll up into him again as Kurt demanded he lose his jacket. He hastened to comply, still unable to believe what was happening could possibly be real. If anyone had suggested this an hour ago he would have said it was more likely he would end up marrying Quinn.]

Ok- yes, of course-

[He shimmied his arms out of the sleeves and reached over his shoulder to grab the jacket and throw it on top of Kurt’s in the driver’s seat. He shivered a little in the cold of the dark car, but Kurt was radiating heat on top of him and he ran one hand back under Kurt’s shirt to curve around his ribcage while the other returned to his jaw, fingers curling around the back of Kurt’s neck and into his hair. He pulled him down for another kiss, running his tongue along Kurt’s lip and returning his hips to a rocking rhythm. He breathed out Kurt’s name reverently once, twice, three times as he ground himself up into the joint of Kurt’s thigh. He didn’t want to feel sorry about wanting this anymore.]

Kurt, Kurt, Kurt- you are so beautiful-

[ Kurt’s erection was the best kind of painful that had ever been conceived, surely. Every kiss left him smoldering in its wake, left making soft breathless sounds between murmurs and gasps and grinding down when Sam ground up without a touch of shame or shyness. One of Sam’s hands sneaked under his thin shirt, his fingers warm on Kurt’s skin, his hand wrapping just right around Kurt’s side, and Kurt brought both hands beneath Sam’s shirt in turn, feeling the hardness and heat of Sam’s body beneath his fingers. ] 

Mmm, shh, I’m just, I —

Oh, wow, you’re so built.

[ He said it with frank and delighted wonder because he’d known that, of course, but it was different feeling that, and his long fingers skimmed over the tense warmth of Sam’s abs as he ground back against Sam, kissing him between words. ]

It’s insane. Mmm, keep — keep doing that, oh, god, Sam. 

[ He didn’t know what “that” was, exactly. Everything. The kisses, the touches, the way Sam’s hands stroked along his neck and side and the way his fingers tightened in Kurt’s hair, the stars and fireworks and confetti behind Kurt’s eyes as they rocked together in the car. 

Kurt shivered and dropped his head into Sam’s shoulder as he pressed himself harder against Sam, his breathing coming fast and short in little soprano gasps. He licked Sam’s neck and kissed all along his throat, since it was there and available and it seemed such a crime for Sam to be there and willing and wanting and for Kurt not to respond enthusiastically in kind, to kiss him and touch him and feel his pulse quicken as Kurt touched him, hear him moan and know that Kurt had done that, feel how hard and eager he was against him and know that it was because of him —

One hand was still roaming beneath Sam’s shirt, completely unable to get enough of how good Sam’s body felt, but Kurt’s other hand came up to hold himself on Sam’s shoulder (hopefully the uninjured one, but Kurt hardly had the presence of mind to tell) like a rider gripping the reins of his ride. A part of Kurt was sort of aware that he wasn’t going to last long at this rate, but every single other piece of Kurt was devoted to exploring the way the dip between Sam’s collarbones tasted, so he was far past caring. ]

[LOCKER ROOM, MONDAY 2/14, EVENING]

awildevansappears:

[Sam’s eyes were wide as he watched Kurt climb nimbly across the console, his mind taking a moment to realize what was happening, unable to process something that seemed way too good to be true. He thought he was probably hard before Kurt even touched him, and he instinctively reached up his hands to rest on Kurt’s waist, steadying him as he swung a leg across Sam and settled himself into his lap. Sam’s eyes almost rolled back when Kurt’s weight shifted into him, and he bit his lip to stop from making a sound, blushing pink yet again. As Kurt bent his head to kiss him, pressing his fingers into Sam’s shoulders, Sam hoped he would leave marks.

Sam wanted to run his hands up Kurt’s back, but he was too afraid of scaring Kurt, of acting wrong, of wanting too much and pushing too hard. Quinn had shrunk from his touch too many times. He left his big hands circling Kurt’s waist, digging in slightly, again trying to get to the body underneath the layers of fabric. He stretched up into Kurt’s mouth, smiling again into his lips because he couldn’t help it. He pulled Kurt’s bottom lip between his teeth and then pulled back a little, looking up at him from under his lashes with wide dark eyes and then laying a kiss gently against the cool flat of Kurt’s throat before leaning up to whisper into his ear.]

I wasn’t expecting, just hoping. I’ve wanted you- I feel like I’ve wanted you like this for so long. 

[As he pushed up to press their lips back together, deeper this time, he was more terrified and happier than he thought he had ever been. His hips rocked up slightly before he could stop them, his hands still pressing into Kurt’s waist. He couldn’t help grinding himself up against kurt just a little once, twice, before he got himself under control again and stopped the rocking.]

I’m sorry.

Will you- can I take your coat off? I want to touch you. 

[Sam reached for the buttons on Kurt’s coat, the question still in his eyes as he gazed up at the boy on top of him, still having to restrain himself from pushing up into Kurt. Kurt was so good looking, and the strain of not moving his hips was almost making him cry with frustration. He wanted his hands under Kurt’s coat now; he wanted to feel Kurt breathing under his fingertips instead of the rustle of cotton drill. He tugged at the lapel, fastening his lips to Kurt’s jaw and sucking lightly.]

[ Sam’s lips on his neck were soft and warm and then his tongue was hot and wet and he kept smiling like kissing Kurt was the best thing he’d ever done, his big hands warm and heavy around Kurt’s lean waist. Kurt kissed him back, already picking up the trick of it with the sort of precocity hastened by eagerness and urgency. His fingers smoothed along the sides of Sam’s neck and he broke off the kiss with a gasp as he felt Sam buck up into him. ] 

No. Don’t be sorry. I’m not. 

[ He pressed his forehead against the back of the seat for a moment, gulping air, his cheek pressed against Sam’s messy hair as his hips ground down into Sam’s. ]

Don’t be sorry. 

[ He brought a hand up to stroke through Sam’s hair, squeezing his eyes shut. His heart ached in his chest. He didn’t know what it was, arousal and excitement and desire and a sort of breathless furious unspoken ‘finally’ that had his head spinning. He’d intended his touch to be gentle, comforting; it was harder, more desperate, his fingers raking through Sam’s hair till Kurt gave in and tilted Sam’s head up for another kiss.

Through a haze he realized that Sam had asked — uh, some kind of question; Sam’s fingers were at his lapels, so Kurt put it together. ] 

Mmm. 

[ The murmur of assent came out more of a moan. Kurt’s hands raced down the frogs of his coat, undoing them. He ripped his coat off and flung it to the other side of the car, then tore off his sweater beneath it and tossed it aside as well, leaving just his pale blue shirt. He leaned in and whispered in Sam’s ear. ]

You’re still in your jacket. Not fair. Dump it. 

[LOCKER ROOM, MONDAY 2/14, EVENING]

awildevansappears:

[Sam held Kurt as he sobbed and imagined he felt his own heart breaking at the pain he could hear and see and feel radiating from the boy in his arms. When Kurt put his arms over Sam’s shoulders it fit their bodies together perfectly, and Sam shivered as Kurt leaned in to whisper in his ear and kiss his hair, his fingertips brushing against the nape of Sam’s neck. Sam pressed his face into Kurt’s throat, laying kisses up it and feeling dizzy from the sheer wonder of being this close. He kissed along Kurt’s jaw, finally dropping a small kiss on Kurt’s mouth and smiling into it, feeling Kurt’s answering smile against his lips even through the lingering pain of his loneliness.]

I just- I don’t want to be just friends either.

All I want to do is kiss you more.

[Sam laughed at himself. Greedy.] 

But okay. let’s go. 

[He picked up the duffel bag and hung it over Kurt’s shoulder, then twined his fingers tightly into Kurt’s as they walked out into the evening. For the first time in a long time, Sam didn’t feel alone. Sam followed Kurt to his Navigator, which was parked much closer to Sam’s beat-up Honda than he would have liked. He couldn’t remember if Kurt had any reason to know what his car looked like, but he resolutely avoiding looking at it nonetheless and climbed into the passenger seat of Kurt’s SUV as Kurt shut the driver’s side door. For some reason being in such a small space made Sam feel shy. He hugged himself for a moment before looking over at Kurt. His breathing was quick again, and Kurt’s wide eyes were looking back at him watchfully. Suddenly Sam leaned over into Kurt’s seat and pressed his lips into Kurt’s, bracing one hand against the console between them and running the other up the back of Kurt’s neck into his hair, pulling Kurt into him. Then just as quickly as he had leaned in he retreated, shy, somehow still nervous, and clasped his fingers in his lap, looking at Kurt with dark eyes.] 

[ It was a good thing, Kurt figured, that Sam let off kissing him when he did, because it was a strange feeling to be so cried out that your eyes hurt while also being so turned on that your pants hurt. Sam’s lips on his neck hit a level of erogenous-zone stimulation Kurt didn’t even know he had. Kurt’s gaze was a little dumbstruck when Sam reluctantly detached himself and settled Kurt’s bag gallantly back on his shoulders. ] 

You’re good at it. 

[ Like he had anything to compare it to, aside from the tender crook of his elbow, anyway. 

Kurt swallowed as Sam took his hand, and they walked through the empty halls of McKinley. Sam’s hand was warm and dry, his grip firm without being too tight, and walking from that locker room into the hallway, out into the cool Lima evening, felt like running some kind of personal gauntlet. Kurt took a deep breath of the crisp air. 

When he saw Sam’s car parked right by the door, he gave Sam a quizzical look, but Sam plowed on by as though he hadn’t seen it there, so Kurt let it go — maybe Sam just didn’t want him to know he drove a Honda or something — and got into his car, unlocking it so Sam could get in.

Presumably this was where it was supposed to begin to get awkward, Kurt thought. Where Sam would begin to explain that he was sorry, but he was just curious, and he didn’t know if he was ready yet to do this, and Kurt would nod and say it’s okay I don’t care even though he did because he was as tired of being lonely as anyone else.

He looked at Sam, who was absurdly handsome even in the harsh unflattering light from the parking lot streetlamps. Sharp-jawed with a cute nose and round cheeks and hair that, well, Kurt was dying to get the chance to work on. Kurt looked at him expectantly, just waiting for it, braced for it. 

Instead, Sam leaned over and kissed all the fretting right out of him. At some point a kiss was sure to cease being such an astonishment, Kurt thought as he touched a hand to his lips as though making sure it had really happened, that all of it was really happening.

It all really was, though.

Kurt smiled. And then his smile quirked playfully. ] 

You can’t just keep kissing me like that and not expect retaliation, Sam. 

[ There was a lot they had to talk about. They could do that whenever. But Kurt had a heightened sense of dramatic timing which was going off like his gaydar when he first spotted Sam way back when. Now was the time to seize the jock. 

Mission accepted; Kurt narrowed his eyes and clambered over into Sam’s lap, straddling him with feigned confidence. His hands were light on Sam’s shoulders till he bent his head for another kiss, his fingers tightening in the fabric of Sam’s jacket.] 

[LOCKER ROOM, MONDAY 2/14, EVENING]

awildevansappears:

[Kurt was crying. Hot tears were running down his cheeks, falling against the side of Sam’s hand and dripping into his palm. Sam wanted to curl his fingers around them and hold Kurt’s pain in his fist, to keep him safe from it. He couldn’t bear the idea of moving his hand, though, so he just ran his thumb under Kurt’s eye, trying to wipe them away.]

Kurt, this isn’t about us kissing. I- you deserve to have someone to talk to. Someone who will help you. You shouldn’t have to deal with this all by yourself. I want to help you even if you just-

[He swallowed painfully.]

Even if you just want to be friends. 

I don’t think you are asking. I- Kurt, it’s not okay. 

[Kurt was still crying. Sam bent his head and kiss a teardrop on Kurt’s cheek, tasting the salt on his lips. He kissed away another. They tasted like bitterness and fear. The tears were still squeezing out slowly, and after a minute of trying to brush them away with his thumbs, he gave up and pressed himself into Kurt, wrapping his arms around him. Sam felt guilty for the little thrill he felt; felt guilty that the joy of being this close to Kurt could bubble up in him even as Kurt’s tears soaked the shoulder of his letterman jacket. He was ashamed that a part of him felt every single inch of Kurt’s body against his. He stroked the hair at the nape of Kurt’s neck.]

I promise you that Karofsky will never touch you again. I’ll enlist Puckerman for Secret Service detail if necessary. It’s not about you and me, Kurt, it’s just about you. You deserve to have friends who will stick up for you. I- should we- 

[Sam didn’t really want to go home. He didn’t want to leave. He thought he would sleep on the cold tile floor of the locker room if that meant he could stay with Kurt. He thought if he left him, if he said goodbye and slept and woke up in his own bed, it would all have been a dream. Sam stayed pressed into Kurt, laying his own head into the spot where Kurt’s neck met his shoulder and pressing a kiss into the skin there.]

Should we go? 

[ Kurt let out a choked laugh. ] 

I kissed you, stupid. I don’t want to be just friends. I am tired of, of, of constantly being friends and still being alone with all my friends. 

[ He shrugged off his shoulder bag; it dropped with a whump by his side as Sam kissed him, kissed the salt and shame off his cheeks, and wrapped his arms around him like he’d shut everything else out. It shouldn’t have made Kurt break down, burying his face in Sam’s shoulder with sobs that wracked him right between his fragile shoulders, but it did. 

Things were better, they really were inestimably better since Kurt had left and come back, they really were, they really, really were, but no one had ever wanted to help when things were bad so Kurt simply accustomed himself to swallowing it all up and holding his breath. Walking through the halls. Holding his breath. Walking through Dalton. Holding his breath. 

He tried not to make any sounds because it was so embarrassing, because he was Kurt Hummel and the last bastion of dignity he had left was that he fell apart in private, in the darkness before dawn huddled beneath his sheets and raging at the town and school and people that would regret ever mishandling him, ever misunderstanding him, but his breaths hitched in inelegant gasps despite his best efforts.

Sam’s hand at the nape of his neck brushed a length of electric warmth that went straight down his spine, twining hot and low. He brought his arms up, perching them on Sam’s shoulders, and lifted his face just enough to speak softly into Sam’s ear, his fingers curled shyly against Sam’s hair. ] 

We probably should. 

[ He closed his eyes and clung, pressing a kiss into those tellingly treated locks. ] 

[LOCKER ROOM, MONDAY 2/14, EVENING]

awildevansappears:

[Sam watched Kurt as he talked, getting even more upset as he saw Kurt shut down and fold in on himself. He wanted him to talk, he wanted to hear everything, and he wanted to be there for Kurt, but he could see that his anger was ruining everything. He pulled distractedly on the straps of his backpack, feeling totally powerless and unbelievably frustrated. He blinked his eyes several times, trying to make the tears disappear. He knew he should be past the point of embarrassment after everything that had just happened, but he was still mortified at the idea that he was on the verge of tears and Kurt, the one this had happened to - the one who had actually suffered and paid in fear and loneliness and in half his school year - Kurt was standing here coolly, asking him to calm down. The coldness and shortness in Kurt’s voice cut him to the core.]

I’m sorry Kurt- I just- It’s so sad to think of you dealing with this alone. You should tell- you should talk about it. I want- everybody would want to help. 

[Me, thought Sam. Talk to me, let me help you. Let me kill him. Let me do something. He could see broken things in Kurt’s eyes and he was powerless to fix them. Suddenly something Kurt had just said struck him.]

Wait- WHAT? Did you say death threat, Kurt? That asshole threatened your life? You can’t- Kurt you can’t tell me something like this and expect me to do nothing-

[Sam squeezed his eyes shut, embarrassed to feel a leftover tear slip out from under one of his eyelids and run down his cheek. His hands were clenched at his sides, shaking a little, as he breathed slowly in and out, trying to calm down. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes and walked back over to Kurt. He waited a moment, to be sure he wouldn’t scare him, before he reached out and put a big palm against Kurt’s cheek, his thumb rubbing gently against his temple and his fingertips slipping into his hair.]

It’s obviously not over, Kurt. I’ll wear bruises for you no matter how bad they look on me. 

[ Watching Sam was surreal. There was no pretense to the way he stood there and struggled through his words, to the way he stood there and cared. Kurt was abruptly reminded of the way Sam had thrown down for him — and Mike and Artie too, but especially Sam, wearing his courage on his face. He’d still had that bruise, a swollen ring of purple round one wide green eye, when Kurt announced that he was leaving McKinley. 

He opened his mouth to say something, anything, to explain the whole stupid dance the school board had put him and his father through, but… 

But Sam was crying. Kurt couldn’t remember the last time someone cared enough about him to cry. 

Sam walked over in front of him, and Kurt had never felt more speechless, more bereft of the wit that had been his only weapon for so long. Sam raises his hand and cradles the side of Kurt’s face. Kurt meets Sam’s eyes with a lump in his throat, his heart racing at the deliberate, tender touch. ]

Sam.

[ Kurt blinked, and felt the wetness in his eyes sticking to his lashes, tracing hot lines down his cheeks. Damnit. He took a deep, shaky breath, but his voice still wobbled when it should have been steady. ]

We only just kissed. We don’t even know what we’re doing. I wouldn’t ever ask you for that. It’s okay, it’s… 

[ It’s not okay, it wasn’t ever okay, it was scary all the time and nobody noticed until it was too late, until it was all sad eyes and goodbyes and nice to have known yous and stares burning through his back as even his memory faded from the choir room.

He gulps another breath, trying to stand straight and firm, but he can’t meet those honest eyes and lie, he just can’t. ] 

I got used to dealing with it. 

[ Alone. ]